Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I am voting today...

here in lovely King County Seattle, and I just adore reading the endorsements in our local weekly, The Stranger, like this one:

Position 9

Beverly Harison Tonda

Bev Tonda is a pink-sweatered ray of strawberry sunshine. Bev Tonda can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. Every time Bev Tonda claps her hands, a fairy punches a rapist in the tit. Bev Tonda is a self-described "Democratic-leaning Republican" who lives in a log cabin she built with her own teeth on the banks of the Cedar River and occasionally says the craziest thing ever ("I was raised Christian, I'm converting to Judaism, and I hang out with Muslims!!!"). There was no chance the SECB wasn't going to endorse Bev Tonda—her opponents are Reagan Dunn, the shriveled weasel who fell out of Jennifer Dunn, and something called a Mark Greene—but we really fell in love with her after her hour-long endorsement meeting, when she e-mailed to let us know that she didn't fucking want our endorsement: "I do feel compelled to say that I was not looking for an endorsement from The Stranger when I came to interview on my lunch hour. The part-time unpaid intern billed the appointment as an interview." Vote for Bev Tonda. Vote the FUCKING SHIT out of her!

No comments:

Post a Comment